I see you didn't hold the game in protest pending steroid testing administered to Bobby Yakatan like we figured you might . After lashing his 2nd double of the game, we gave a quick call to our team statastician who said Yakker has gone 744 official at-bats without an extra base hit although there were 313 singles within that span. There was an anonymous emergency call to the league president, who made it there quickly following a stop in Eckerds for a test kit . Mr. Jackson did a quick visual assessment , and although yakker didn't appear to exceed his High School weight of 128 pounds ( verified in a bet I lost last year ) , his constant stumbling and tripping on the basepaths and in the outfield indicated a loss of vision and motor skills, early indicators of steroid abuse . Also, his balding area seems to have decreased, either that or his head has expanded . Testing is as yet inconclusive as Yakky claimed " I don't really have to go right now ". Yak- drink lots of cranberry juice prior to our next game .
