The last time I was spanked that hard, I had to pay $175 to Mistress Leah in Midtown Manhattan. Home runs galore. Too bad it wasn't us hitting them. The A's are a great bunch of guys and it was good to see Wayne from Wayne's World excellent party time on second base. Wayne helped me last year with my throwing. I still throw like a girl, only now I'm more like a masculine lesbian softball player. Thanks Wayne. EJ from the Shaskys broke his wrist diving for a ball in right field and anybody that knows EJ knows this guy is 100% adrenaline OD. Scott Lawson banged a long ball for the Shaskys in the first inning. It's always a privilege to play baseball, especially on our favorite teammate's birthday, Mike Hart was 85 today. God love him. He actually freebases geritol before every game, which is still legal in 16 states. Anyway guys, thanks a lot. We are truly blessed to be able to play baseball in America while the rest of the world is crumbling around us.
This is one of the best posts I have ever seen. Good God, the line, "Wayne helped me last year with my throwing.", is one of the greatest one-liners in the history of this bulletin board.
Seriously though, he is well-read on the subject and has learned many different methods of throwing. Which method did he teach you - the Penny Marshall, the Angelina Jolie or the Lindsay Lohan? He says he throws in his shower on many nights thinking about the Angelina. But I don't understand how it can be good for you when you have to have a cigarette and a nap afterward.
I have to apologize, I did not know anyone got hurt last night. I hope EJ is alright.
And a great birthday to Mike Hart! One of the true gentleman in our game. Many more, Mike!
It is always fun playing - I have to agree with Brian. Diamonds are a guys best friend.
i would like to correct one thing brian said - i freebase a whipped mix of advil, fish oil and glucosimine chondritin - though adding geritol may just give it a little taste.
wednesday was my, ahem, 62nd (whew! THAT got here fast). on that the same night i gave up three dingers (count 'em) to two A's hitters. that's a way to celebrate.
in 10 years of pitching before this year, i'd allowed only 2 homers; this year, i've given up 4 - ouch - and all at west albany babe ruth, where center feels about 10 feet beyond second base and where there must be a wind tunnel whooshing from home to left center.
but i don't want to diminish the blasts of derek rice, who hit two (and if he's still a secret to the rest of the league, he won't be much longer: he entered the game with a .429 batting average and a .786 slugging percentage and exited with only higher numbers) and herb cepeda who launched one off his ankles and has long been one of the league's top players.
the point of all this? to steal from casey stengel. some of you may know that stengel was fired from the mets on his 70th birthday. reporters asked him how it felt to be fired on his birthday. casey replied, "i sure won't make the mistake of turning 70 again."
me too. i won't make the mistake of turning 62 again.
thanks brian, ray and my fellow shaskys for your good wishes. tip of the hat to you all.
